February 01, 2005
Shutup and Talk
Ever feel like you have billiard balls in your mouth? No? Okay, I'm the only one. There are days when I CAN NOT talk. I mean, sounds come out of my mouth and you might occasionally pick up a familiar word here and there, but for the most part, most of it is gibberish.
It usually happens when I'm tired. Which means, yeah, pretty much all the time.
Kevin makes fun of me. Sometimes this is amusing (when I'm not hormonal) sometimes it's not. I'll be talking along, no, make that stuttering along, and it's all a person can do to keep up with me. I know I need to speak more clearly when people's eyes start glazing over and they look like someone just stuck a needle in their arm.
"*GarbleGarble* and the email finally comes. I'm like *GarbleGarble*" Pause for dramatic effect and then, "it's been six months since I've heard from them. Lucky for me *GarbleGarble.* I mean, c'mon, I can' t read minds! They are just going to have to *GarbleGarble.*"
And then there's the mispronounced words. Don't you hate that? You know what word you want to use, it's perfect, conveys exactly what you want to say, and then you say it.
"Um, I think it's supposed to be pronounced *fill in the blank*.
"Oh, really?" Now comes the part where I try to make a graceful comeback. "Yes, of course. I meant to say that. Geez, I can't talk today!" *Chuckle* All along I'm thinking to myself, "Idiot!"
And then there are stretches of time when I feel like I'm a race car driver and I only have so much time to say something before I have to make a pit stop.
"Andthiswomanstopsmeintheparkinglotandis like, 'Are you theonewhodoes theschoolwebsite?' AndI'mlike, 'yeah,why?' Andshestartsgushingabout howmuchshelikesthesite andhowmuchithelp...etc.etc.etc." (Do you know how hard that was to type?)
Ask my mother, I've always talked fast. I'm not sure why I do that. I've taught myself over the years to slow down, but occasionally you'll catch me speedings things up when I'm excited and/or angry about something.
And then, strangely enough, there are times I acquire an accent. Have you ever done this? I'm talking along and I'll pronounce a word like I'm from England or something. Kevin, of course, points this out to me and only when my thought process is interrupted and my mouth stops moving do I realize that yes, I DID say that word with an English accent. I sort of think this is cool so I continue to do it. (I've always thought it would be ultra cool to have an English accent. I guess my subconscious is talking to me).
And then comes the "hick" words. I've always taken pride in the fact that though I live in the heart of the Ozarks, I don't have an accent. But when I'm really tired, or agitated, the accent comes out. No one even has to call me on those, I realize it at once.
"So I said, yer just gonna have to stop that now. Ew....did I just say "yer?"
My mother is hilarious and I love to tease her about her "hillbilly accent" One of the things she says that I call her on ALL the time, "Warsh."
"Mom, wash doesn't have an "r" in it."
"Oh hush. That's how I say it."
But I notice that she corrects herself whenever she catches herself saying "warsh."
Being "into" language is sort of a drag. Especially for those people around me. *grin*