February 14, 2005
Cue the Violins
Happy Valentine's Day
Do you remember your first love? Looking back, I'm not sure the feeling I had for my "first love" was really love, it was more like infatuation. I was in high school, what did I know? However, at the time, I really thought he was "it."
I've always been pretty mature for my age so the guy I fell for was of course, older. He had already graduated from high school which automatically put him in an elite group, in my opinion. He wasn't anyone from my school, I went to school with a bunch of morons (no offense to any who might be reading this and went to high school with me). I just wasn't interested. (Well, there was this one guy, but he wouldn't give me the time of day, which of course broke my heart. Not being one to sit around and mope for the impossible, I started to ignore him and shifted my focus elsewhere).
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I was really into cruising at that time period in my life. Hey, it was back in the 80's , it was considered "cool" back then. Anyway, this guy had the coolest car on the strip. A cherry red camero, souped up, the works. Plus, he was the manager at a local skating rink, where all the cool kids hung out, so I was pretty smitten. He finally noticed me. We went out and I was on top of the world. I definitely felt like my "coolness" status had skyrocketed. It had certainly peaked.
But this guy was young, we all were back then. He wasn't ready to settle down into a serious relationship (how serious is it really, in high school?) So of course, rumor got back to me that he was seeing someone else. I hated that girl. With all my heart. Quite ironically, I ended up working with her later in life and we laughed about the whole thing. We were such dorks.
I was crushed. I mean, heart-broken. At least, as much as I could be given I had never really experienced love to begin with. But that experience taught me something, to be careful with my heart. Years after that, I was cautious. If things looked they might go sour, I mean even hinted at a nosedive, I took off. I dumped them. I was never again going to be the dumped, but the dumpee.
And then along came my husband. (cue the violins) I knew immediately, he was the one. I can't explain it, it was just a feeling. The same sort of feeling I had with the first guy in my life, something just clicked. It's rather a sweet story, how me and my husband hooked up, but I'll save that for another time.
It's taken years for me to open my heart, to fully trust and love. I'm a better person because of it. I tell my husband and boys I love them all the time, though it was years before I felt I could let myself say it. Lucky for me, I have a very patient family.
When you let someone into your heart, and say those words, out loud, something happens. The relationship starts to meld together, there's a sense of security, and that leads to peace. It's a wonderful feeling.
I guess my point here is - why is Valentine's day necessary? Every day should be Valentine's Day with the people you love. It's not hard, just tell them how you feel. But don't stop there, show them. Send little notes, write something on a paper plate and leave it for your spouse when they come in for lunch after a grueling morning (thank you honey).
It makes a WORLD of difference and suddenly your bad day isn't so bad anymore.